Fact: 80 percent of reality TV producers don’t know the Roman emperor Commodos gathered all the dwarves and deformed people he could find and ordered them to fight to the death with meat cleavers.

Fact: 79 percent of baby boomers don’t know the name of “Puff, The Magic Dragon’s” human friend in the Peter, Paul and Mary song. (It’s Jackie Paper.)

Fact: 59 percent of Lutheran pastors don’t know the type of wood supposedly used to build Noah’s Ark. (It was gopher wood — Genesis 6:14.)

Fact: 65 percent of Vikings fans don’t know that 95 percent of ongoing reports about Brett Favre are fashioned from moonbeams, wet dreams and what someone’s cousin might have said.

Fact: 100 percent of me knows this is enough of this nonsense.

Brian Ojanpa is a Free Press staff writer. Call him at 344-6316 or e-mail bojanpa@mankatofreepress.com .