I just want to be up front with my city leaders in North Mankato.

I’m likely to run rampantly afoul of the law.

The City Council recently passed an ordinance cracking down on eyesores, including big billboards, junk cars and extensive landscaping projects.

Under the ordinance, residents must get a building permit and present a site plan drawing if they do landscaping costing more than $300.

And if they leave an old car parked on the street for a few weeks, they may be asked to prove it isn’t a junker by driving it at least 500 feet.

I walked around my lower North yard this week, looking for ways I have potentially violated the law.

The house, itself, could be an eyesore problem. The paint’s not looking too good. And those cracks in the shingles I covered with black tar last summer didn’t quite blend in as I’d hoped. The roof looks like birds circled and deposited tar-droppings all over.

The 1992 black Nissan with 225,000 miles on it, parked in the street, is NOT a junker. It’s my son’s car. Yes, it may look a little rough. The hub caps all fell off, the back window is propped shut with a piece of 2-by-4, and there’s a lot of rust and dents.

And just a little warning to the police officer or city inspector who asks my son to drive the car 500 feet: He’s still a little shaky with the parallel parking and, well, driving in general, so if I were you, I’d stand a ways back while you’re verifying if it moves.

I walked around to the side of the garage and found what could, if you want to get picky, be called more eyesores. There’s the shell of an old Toro riding mower that blew up last summer. And an old sauna heater we might do something with some day. There’s some old plastic garden edging, cement blocks, lumber.

Oh, and there’s the decaying deer head. It’s a nice eight-pointer. I’m going to mount the rack sometime.

(I’m beginning to understand why the neighborhood kids call me Mr. Clampett. I thought they were just confusing my name, but I think it might be something else.)

I’m going to be in a lot of trouble come spring. I always have a need to do landscaping, and I’m pretty sure I’m not going to get a permit for every $300 job.

Heck, I kill more than $300 worth of new nursery plants every summer.

I got tired of dead grass under the big maple and basswood trees in the front yard and last year covered it all with wood chips and put in some split-rail fencing. Way over $300.