I’ve been doing design work on my new house.

Which is quite a task for something as big as I’m planning to build: 15,000-square-feet.

I’ve had to line up the architects, the real estate firm to find just the right setting, the interior designers, the landscapers. It’s been a busy spring.

Not long ago, I didn’t think it would be possible for me to build such a palatial home, what with a reporter’s salary and all.

But it turned out I just didn’t understand how it worked.

The Vikings went to the state Legislature this week with a plan for a new home for their football team. The drawings of the new place were awesome. Soaring glass towers surrounding a stadium with a retractable roof.

The stadium will cost about $1 billion, according to the Vikings. They said they have no idea how to pay for any of it and don’t have any financial backers lined up. Vikings officials said they’d let the Legislature figure out how to pay for the team’s new home.

My new home is only going to cost a fraction of that — maybe $5 million or so. The Legislature ought to be able to come up with that without breaking a sweat.

It’ll be beautiful and a huge benefit to the community, the whole state. And don’t think I won’t be grateful to you taxpayers for funding it. As a way to thank you all for building it, I’m going to let you come visit and enjoy it.

There will be an admission fee — $75 to $250 depending on how fully you want to enjoy my house. I know that might not sound reasonable, considering you will have to spend your hard-earned money to build it and all. But I will have upkeep costs and all the expenses related to keeping me in the new, more opulent lifestyle I will become accustomed to.

Once you buy your tickets, you can come in and be in awe of the fine craftsmanship and tasteful decor of my house. You’ll be able to tour the atrium, where I’ll raise exotic flowers, the six-stall garage and, on special occasions, my pool.

I’ve always wanted a big pool. Sometimes I’ve blown up one of those little kids’ pools and put it in the front yard and laid in it. But people would come by and call me names. Say I looked like a big, white beached whale. And that was just my family. The neighbor kids were even meaner.

The six-stall garage will be great, too. I’ve just got one stall now and it’s full of bikes and mowers and we have to park the cars on the street.

When you’re visiting my new home, you’ll be able to enjoy good food and drink. There will be a fee, of course. Caterers don’t come cheap. The crabmeat cracker tray ($14.95) and the glass of Merlot ($9.50) will greatly heighten your enjoyment of visiting my house.

When you leave, you’ll be able to stop at my expansive outdoor courtyard and purchase mementos of your visit. There will be sweatshirts, posters, pens, even those little plastic signs that look like parking signs that say “Reserved for Tim Fans.”