The Free Press, Mankato, MN

Sports Columns

November 3, 2012

Cross Column: TV hunting as realistic as Playboy

On this, the opening weekend of the firearms deer season, there’s a common connection to be made between those deer hunting shows on the tube and Playboy magazine.

Now, it’s true that in some deer camp libraries, Playboy is an important piece of literature.

But more than that, the connection is all about realistic expectations.

Through the magic of air-brushing and retouching — and now in the digital age, Photoshop — the girl next door has always been picture-perfect with nary a wrinkle, blemish or spot of cellulite to be found.

And without getting into the details, when it comes to some of the attributes of some of the young ladies, there always is an emphasis on size.

Of course, such perfection is mostly an illusion and hardly connected with reality.

Most of those deer hunting programs have no connection with reality, either.

Tune in to an outdoor hunting show and  professional (whatever that means) hunters regularly waylay Boone & Crockett or Pope & Young category bucks on a weekly basis, usually to the inane beat of heavy metal.

Not that there isn’t a deer hunter out there, this one included, who would doesn’t hope someday to bag a deer sporting a braggin’-size set of headgear sometime in their lifetime.

But unless one is well-connected or wealthy, those opportunities usually come along for most of us as just that, once-in-a-lifetime opportunities.

I’ll be the first to admit that one of the first channels I ordered when we moved to town nearly fifteen years ago and finally had access to cable television was one that featured outdoor hunting and fishing adventures.

But the luster of the programming dimmed as quickly as the novelty of being able to order pizza delivered right to my door.

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